Things to Always Remember

I’m not claiming these as my own original thoughts by any means, just little moments of clarity that I’ve jotted down in my notes in my phone over the last year. Enjoy.

(Copied and Pasted)

No one cares as much about your accomplishments as you think, not even your parents. Live your life, do what you want and fuck the rest.

It’s lonely at the top.

Stay Consistent. New Video Every Thursday. Forever. Think Long Term. It’s OK to Stack Videos Weeks Ahead.

Retirement is a Myth. Be Patient. Think Long Term. Work Hard. Enjoy Your Work. What do you want to say? Do the work.

Always be real, Down-to-Earth, Build Emotional Connection & Rapport with Fans, don’t take yourself too seriously,

Stay Active on Social Media. Collaborate long-descriptive titles and thumbnails and comments on the video. Don’t be afraid to be long. Stay in Character. Keep them on the their toes, throw them off. Surprise them. It’s ok to not be funny. Always be interesting.

Do the work. Commit. Turn Pro.

Get Money, Get Paid.

Moderation in All Things.

10 min. CPM

Read, Walk, Weed, Run.

Hugs All Day.

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.

Take Nootropics and Coffee.

What are willing to suffer for? What’s your struggle?

I met this beautiful Russian girl 3 months ago. We’ve been hanging out a bit and I’m pretty psyched about it.

I’ve been vegging out in my apartment snuggled on the couch with my big blanket and pillows with Bonnie by my feet. It’s been about…22 hours since I’ve left the apartment. There’s this continuous train of thought that circulates in my head while I stair at the TV. I need to make a video. Naa I’m fine. No I should make a video. meh just do it tomorrow. Then I’ll get up and drink some more coffee, take Bonnie out for a stroll around the block, come back, sit on the couch, watch some more TV. LA has been very Londony lately. Cold and damp. It’s nice to just stay cozy indoors instead of doing anything else. I’ve been trying out a bunch of different supplements lately. I love my pills & potions. Getting high. I’m looking for natural alternatives to Adderall, for focus, and Ativan, for anxiety, but overall, just something fun to take.

You know what makes me feel guilty? Not working.

I went through this mini I-Don’t-Want-To-Get-Recognized-On-The-Street-Anymore phase for the last couple months but I’m over it now. I don’t mind. I’m happy people give a shit lol.

I gotta get back to work.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

2:44am

Los Angeles, CA

Contentment

Sup. It’s been a while. Remember that first post talking about how I was kind of against vlogging? Ya fuck that. I like it now. I’m tellin’ stories. Stuff like my DUI, blowing money on strippers, my drug habits, my fapping habits, why I left mormonism, the one that got away. I’m surprised to say I’m quite proud of my vlogs. My wonderfully intimate, youtubey, hand-held vloggy vlogs. For the first time in my life I feel like I’ve truly come out of my shell. I’m just so… and this word’s kind of gay but, happy. Gross. Good ol’ boring, I’m-13-again, quirky & relatable happiness. It’s very strange. Almost like I’m meeting my(jolly)self for the first time. Social Anxiety, what’s that? I actually talk to cashiers and uber drivers now without a care in the world. Is this how normal people feel? I don’t overthink things into a mild panic attack. Especially irrelevant, philosophical things like determinism or death. So. This is what 2 months of Lexapro feels like. My burning curiosity for anti-depressants (happiness in a pill?) is now finally resolved. I’m probably speaking too soon. There’s other factors too. The simple commitment to daily vlogging has probably had a relieving, cathartic effect on me. Not probably, it has. I also just turned 26 in May, signifying the completion of my brain’s natural growth and thus possibly maturing my state of mind and/or spirit to simpler, wiser level. Emotional retirement? Ha. Either way, for now, I’m in a good place.

Remember one of the docs I wanted to put out this year about Adderall and whether I had ADD or not? I drank a bunch of coffee (as well as 10 mg of addy of course) and busted it out over the weekend.

After uploading the nearly 12 minute short film to lahwfextra, I wait about about 5 minutes and then click refresh. The initial response is perfect. 40 likes, 0 dislikes. Ok cool. I play tug of war with Bonnie (my new Boston Terrier puppy) for 10-15 minutes. I click refresh again. 435 likes, 0 dislikes. Wow. They love it. Money can’t buy this feeling. I check up on the Donut Digger Prank on the main channel. Ratings are solid on that one too. Wow, today’s a good day for LAHWF. When my sense of accomplishment & ego gets this stimulated & inflated all I know to do is go for a fast-paced walk around the city. I put in my ipod, smoke a celebratory bowl and just sink into my own world, enjoying the fresh fruit of my labor. Aaaahhhh a pleased audience. Everything is in it’s right place.

“Good times, bad times, you know I’ve had my share…” – Led Zeppelin

Probably the most beautiful and simple lyrics ever written on this necessary fact of life. When I get down, I think of these lyrics and just remember to keep things in perspective, go with the flow, and ride the roller coaster of life. Losing All Hope Was Freedom.

Thanks for reading,

Andrew Hales

5:36am

Los Angeles, CA

The Process

I haven’t had a hard life. I’m a white, tall, American, male, from an upper middle class family, two loving parents, 4 loving siblings, soccer practice, cabin in the summertime, noodle salad. Oh ya and then Youtube comes out of nowhere and makes me rich and famous popular on the internet. I kind of have it all.

The only problem I’ve ever had is not having any to begin with. Boredom. Depression. My own thoughts & imagination turning on me. Just a blessed, bored, bougie, little brat. Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Sugar, Fat, Salt, Likes, Views, Attention.  It’s all wrapped up in a shiny, glittery box full of nothing. My neurotransmitters are shot. I’m not trying to sound edgy, there’s just something in me that wants to talk about this.

What’s there to do after you have it all? Do your best to contribute and help and be nice I guess. I think about this concept of short-term vs. long term gratification, but I’ve never really applied it to my life. Not consistently anyway. I’ve never really cared to. That’s kind of the root of evil right there. The tipping point. It all boils down to that spectrum. Good (long term choices) VS. Evil (short-term choices). You’ve thought about this.

Is it that simple though? I remember a girl asked me what’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I thought about it for a second. “I don’t feel bad about any of the stuff I’ve done.” She laughed. You know, no regrets. It’s mAdE mE tHe PeRsOn I aM tOdAY! I don’t understand why people say that. What if you’re not a good person. What if you’re a serial killer. Same with Everything happens for a reason. Is it a good reason? I don’t like those phrases.

When we film a video, sometimes 2-3 hours go by before we film anything. We’ll walk around campus, figuring out what exactly we’re doing, hanging out, eating, getting batteries. When I say ‘we’ I just mean whoever is with me that day. Usually Luke, Aryia, or Danny. What I was getting at though was that those 2-3 hours of ‘wasting time’ have never bothered me. It’s just what we refer to as The Process. All the hang-ups, frustration, trouble that we encounter trying to get a video done is just part of The Process. It’s normal. It’s inevitable. It’s the universe’s way of making you earn the video.

So if we go back to the Good vs. Evil thing, is it really that simple? Or was I, for instance, suppose to visit a certain amount of strip clubs in my early 20’s before I was bored with them, so now I’ve learned my lesson, and don’t go to strip clubs anymore because I’m more mature and it’s degrading to women, so now I’m gonna respect woman and practice commitment with someone I care about? Where in all that did I just go, “Hey, I’m not gonna do this now.” If everyone makes mistakes and learns from them, then what’s the problem? I’m asking what’s the problem with making mistakes if you’re just going to learn from them, is it all just part of the process of life? I don’t really know what I mean by that. I’ve confused myself again.

I tell you man, this Free Will dilemma, I just can’t get my head around it. Maybe I’m smoking too much weed. Or taking too much adderall, or Ativan, or Lexapro. That last sentence just made me sound like a pill-popper. I am. I’m a pill-popper. I love pills. I love having the ability to change my reality with a substance. I like that simplicity. I guess that’s evil though, it’s short-term. Are they still evil if they help you be a better person? Not just to yourself but to everyone else in your life?

I could go through this post and fix some of the points I’ve made (if any) and make them crispier, think about it more, ramble more, but I don’t really want to. I’m tired. I’m just gonna post it.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

3:32am

Los Angeles, CA

5am

The longer you go without working out, the less tone you get, the more weight you gain, the less likely you’ll start working out again.

The longer you go without posting a video, the more anxious you get about posting one, the less likely you’ll start posting again. Same paradox.

Then suddenly, out of chance, you get home one day in all your automation, and you happen to eat more than one or two cookies, not realizing it would put you in a deep 6-hour sugar crash.

You wake up on the couch. The TV’s on. It’s 5am. You turn the TV off and you sit there. You feel a little groggy, but something’s different. You care. Cereal? No. Today let’s try eggs and veggies. No bread, No sugar. Let’s write down some goals. Let’s do some kettle bell swings. Take a shower. Clean up the apartment.  Why now? Who knows. We tried answering that in that Free Will video. It’s just the motion of the universe I guess. Over-analyzing it won’t get you anywhere either. That kind of thinking will put you back down the rabbit hole. Today, you care.

Maybe I’ll stick to it this time. Boiled eggs, black beans, peas & carrots, green tea. 60 kettle bell swings. Jump rope until I’m sweating. Hop in the shower. Sit down on a chair and wait. Wait until it comes. Then write. Edit. Pray.

Tuesday’s will be cheat day. A lot of things are cheaper on Tuesdays, the movies, B-Dubs, etc. Tuesday’s will be filled with Soda, Beer, Mcdonald’s, and all the other poisonous things you can think of. Complete freedom and debauchery.

Then back to structure. Discipline. Self-control. Self-awareness.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

6:25am

Los Angeles, CA

 

 

Pre-Game

Damn that last post was Beta as fuck. Should prolly delete that. Gangsters don’t get infatuated. 99 problems.

Uploaded Trying to Fit in at College 9 hours ago and it appears to already have plateaued at around 40k views. Damn. I guess we did only spend an hour or so on it. I guess it IS a little cliche as fuck. The next one might be a little better. Little bit better clickbait. You Wanna Come Over and Pop in a Blu-Ray? Should be a crowd-pleaser. Christ.

I’m typing this at the most random of moments to sit down and write something. A Pre-Game. Luke & Austin. The girls will be here in a 20 minutes or so. Music’s blasting. We’re in Austin’s Apartment sipping on Vodka Redbulls and meditating on the night ahead of us here in Windy City. My first time visiting Chicago.

“Do you know the real time views on your vid?” Luke asks.

“I dunno. Prolly low.” I respond pessimistically.

I try not to self-identify with it. I focus on EVERYTHING else that’s so much better than that and to be fucking grateful. Then I think of Music.

Music. Forever and always. Flow.

Haven’t had an ativan in a while. Ativan keeps me positive. I’m a better person on ativan.

More on that later.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

9:43 pm

Chicago, IL

 

 

 

Infatuation

I’ve developed an unhealthy infatuation with two girls in my life. One is married now. The other is currently sending me mixed signals. It’s exciting and frustrating.

How do you tame infatuation? I say unhealthy because I’m past the point of no return where my sense of identity goes completely haywire when I’m around her. I’ve built this girl up so much in my head and there’s nothing I can do to reverse it. Attraction isn’t a choice. She has me.

Our interests & values clash but the probability we wouldn’t work out only makes the banter that much more exciting. We’re polar opposites mystified by each other. At least I am anyway.

There’s no telling if she’ll respond to a text or not. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. That’s just the way it goes. Sometimes she’ll text me first. One particular text ‘session’ went like this:

Girl: What are you doing?

Me: Nothing. Reading. Why you wanna come over? (blushy emoticon)

Girl: Haha. Nope. You’re trouble.

Me: hahaha what do you mean? I thought you liked me..

Girl: Every time im around you I get the feeling that you want to make out with me… and the girl you were just talking to before me, and after me. (then a text right after that one): Too honest. Too honest. Shouldn’t have sent that one.

Me: lol well that’s true except for the second part about the other girls. But I mean I get that feeling from you too, we might have telekinesis.

She didn’t reply for 10 minutes. Then she said:

Girl: Ooo. 11:11 make a wish.

Me: Are you tired?

Girl: No. I’m rarely tired at night.

Me: Same. What a coincidence. If it was warmer I’d say lets go star gazing but it’s pretty cold.

Girl: We’ll have to meet up another day

Me: ok

I’ll invite her to hang out and she won’t respond. Then a couple days later she’ll invite me to a party at her house. I have yet to hang out in a non-public place with her. I guess she thinks I’m some sort of player, which isn’t completely false.

Making out, sure, but that package also usually includes cuddling, deep conversation, and an overall sugary burst of Oxytocin. I want to hear her less energetic, non-TV voice. I want to understand her. I want to meet her. I haven’t quite met her yet.

I don’t mind taking it slow though. Until she gives me a clear sign she’s not interested, all I can do is keep trying. I have no other choice.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

5:39am

Los Angeles, CA

About Danny Duncan

“What is life?”

Danny says as we sit on the grass at Venice Beach. We come here to “film & skate”. It’s the end of July and the sun is nearly gone behind the flat ocean.

“I know right” I don’t skip a beat.

Danny is a complete extrovert. Social lubricant. It’s not possible to have an awkward moment with Danny, not even after this ultimate question.

“Like what the fuck is going on!?” laughing his ass off.

“I know, it’s weird!” I laugh with him.

One of Danny’s most endearing traits is that he’s sober. I don’t think I’ve even seen him with a soda. He’s athletic and cares about his health while at the same time carries no judgment towards anyone that parties (me). His Instagram bio reads, “I just like to laugh & have fun! <3” which couldn’t be more parallel to his being.

I met Danny when I met Chris Chann about 10 months ago. They’re good friends. I’d seen some of Chris’ videos before and noticed he had commented on one of my videos. I tweeted to him and we skated (with Danny) at the Berrics a few days later. Danny and I started hanging out more and filming videos for each other. Eventually he started couch surfing at my place and over the course of the year we (along with Luke and a few others) started to build a life together out here in the City of Angels. A real-life social network of moral support.

Another endearing trait of Danny is he’s always in a positive mood. Even through the bad times he keeps on laughing. After being car-less for the first month or so, he finally got a car after spending everything he had. The car broke down on the freeway on the first day he bought it.

He came home a few hours later laughing his head off, “Dude, Dude, what are the fuckin’ chances!” Pulling me in with his crazy grin, “I mean ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??” laughing harder.

Luke and I laugh with him, “that sucks man” and “I’m so sorry man, that’s not fair at all.”

He calms down and starts editing something on his laptop on my floor where he sleeps. He’s hungry. He’s chasing the dream. He wants to ‘make it’. I believe in him, so I help him. I want to help him. Danny’s a good guy. He’s a good guy because he’s always honest and upfront with everything he says and does. Part of #teamrealpranks and #FTF (fuck the fakes), a movement outspokenly against fake pranks/social expieriments (Although no one cares haha), Danny shares my annoyance for Youtubers that profit off the ignorance of millions of people who actually thought their staged, crafted sOciaL eXpEriMeNt really happened. Sorry I started to get a little heated there haha.

Fearful of intruding with a semi-serious tone, “Just let me know if you need to me to leave, it’s not a big deal at all.”

He says this about once a week. Buys his own groceries with the little money he has, Peanut Butter, Jelly, Bread, Milk, Cereal. Doesn’t touch my food, get’s uncomfortable if I try to buy his meal, “haha no dawg, put that away.” Little things like that can give you an idea of someone’s character.

I’m not sure where this post is going or what it’s original purpose was, but it’s good to practice gratitude. It takes effort to count your blessings and appreciate them. Though, at the moment, it feels effortless to be grateful for my friend, Danny Duncan.

Happy 100k subs man, love you.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

6:49pm

Los Angeles, CA