Pre-Game

Damn that last post was Beta as fuck. Should prolly delete that. Gangsters don’t get infatuated. 99 problems.

Uploaded Trying to Fit in at College 9 hours ago and it appears to already have plateaued at around 40k views. Damn. I guess we did only spend an hour or so on it. I guess it IS a little cliche as fuck. The next one might be a little better. Little bit better clickbait. You Wanna Come Over and Pop in a Blu-Ray? Should be a crowd-pleaser. Christ.

I’m typing this at the most random of moments to sit down and write something. A Pre-Game. Luke & Austin. The girls will be here in a 20 minutes or so. Music’s blasting. We’re in Austin’s Apartment sipping on Vodka Redbulls and meditating on the night ahead of us here in Windy City. My first time visiting Chicago.

“Do you know the real time views on your vid?” Luke asks.

“I dunno. Prolly low.” I respond pessimistically.

I try not to self-identify with it. I focus on EVERYTHING else that’s so much better than that and to be fucking grateful. Then I think of Music.

Music. Forever and always. Flow.

Haven’t had an ativan in a while. Ativan keeps me positive. I’m a better person on ativan.

More on that later.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

9:43 pm

Chicago, IL

 

 

 

Infatuation

I’ve developed an unhealthy infatuation with two girls in my life. One is married now. The other is currently sending me mixed signals. It’s exciting and frustrating.

How do you tame infatuation? I say unhealthy because I’m past the point of no return where my sense of identity goes completely haywire when I’m around her. I’ve built this girl up so much in my head and there’s nothing I can do to reverse it. Attraction isn’t a choice. She has me.

Our interests & values clash but the probability we wouldn’t work out only makes the banter that much more exciting. We’re polar opposites mystified by each other. At least I am anyway.

There’s no telling if she’ll respond to a text or not. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. That’s just the way it goes. Sometimes she’ll text me first. One particular text ‘session’ went like this:

Girl: What are you doing?

Me: Nothing. Reading. Why you wanna come over? (blushy emoticon)

Girl: Haha. Nope. You’re trouble.

Me: hahaha what do you mean? I thought you liked me..

Girl: Every time im around you I get the feeling that you want to make out with me… and the girl you were just talking to before me, and after me. (then a text right after that one): Too honest. Too honest. Shouldn’t have sent that one.

Me: lol well that’s true except for the second part about the other girls. But I mean I get that feeling from you too, we might have telekinesis.

She didn’t reply for 10 minutes. Then she said:

Girl: Ooo. 11:11 make a wish.

Me: Are you tired?

Girl: No. I’m rarely tired at night.

Me: Same. What a coincidence. If it was warmer I’d say lets go star gazing but it’s pretty cold.

Girl: We’ll have to meet up another day

Me: ok

I’ll invite her to hang out and she won’t respond. Then a couple days later she’ll invite me to a party at her house. I have yet to hang out in a non-public place with her. I guess she thinks I’m some sort of player, which isn’t completely false.

Making out, sure, but that package also usually includes cuddling, deep conversation, and an overall sugary burst of Oxytocin. I want to hear her less energetic, non-TV voice. I want to understand her. I want to meet her. I haven’t quite met her yet.

I don’t mind taking it slow though. Until she gives me a clear sign she’s not interested, all I can do is keep trying. I have no other choice.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

5:39am

Los Angeles, CA

About Danny Duncan

“What is life?”

Danny says as we sit on the grass at Venice Beach. We come here to “film & skate”. It’s the end of July and the sun is nearly gone behind the flat ocean.

“I know right” I don’t skip a beat.

Danny is a complete extrovert. Social lubricant. It’s not possible to have an awkward moment with Danny, not even after this ultimate question.

“Like what the fuck is going on!?” laughing his ass off.

“I know, it’s weird!” I laugh with him.

One of Danny’s most endearing traits is that he’s sober. I don’t think I’ve even seen him with a soda. He’s athletic and cares about his health while at the same time carries no judgment towards anyone that parties (me). His Instagram bio reads, “I just like to laugh & have fun! <3” which couldn’t be more parallel to his being.

I met Danny when I met Chris Chann about 10 months ago. They’re good friends. I’d seen some of Chris’ videos before and noticed he had commented on one of my videos. I tweeted to him and we skated (with Danny) at the Berrics a few days later. Danny and I started hanging out more and filming videos for each other. Eventually he started couch surfing at my place and over the course of the year we (along with Luke and a few others) started to build a life together out here in the City of Angels. A real-life social network of moral support.

Another endearing trait of Danny is he’s always in a positive mood. Even through the bad times he keeps on laughing. After being car-less for the first month or so, he finally got a car after spending everything he had. The car broke down on the freeway on the first day he bought it.

He came home a few hours later laughing his head off, “Dude, Dude, what are the fuckin’ chances!” Pulling me in with his crazy grin, “I mean ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??” laughing harder.

Luke and I laugh with him, “that sucks man” and “I’m so sorry man, that’s not fair at all.”

He calms down and starts editing something on his laptop on my floor where he sleeps. He’s hungry. He’s chasing the dream. He wants to ‘make it’. I believe in him, so I help him. I want to help him. Danny’s a good guy. He’s a good guy because he’s always honest and upfront with everything he says and does. Part of #teamrealpranks and #FTF (fuck the fakes), a movement outspokenly against fake pranks/social expieriments (Although no one cares haha), Danny shares my annoyance for Youtubers that profit off the ignorance of millions of people who actually thought their staged, crafted sOciaL eXpEriMeNt really happened. Sorry I started to get a little heated there haha.

Fearful of intruding with a semi-serious tone, “Just let me know if you need to me to leave, it’s not a big deal at all.”

He says this about once a week. Buys his own groceries with the little money he has, Peanut Butter, Jelly, Bread, Milk, Cereal. Doesn’t touch my food, get’s uncomfortable if I try to buy his meal, “haha no dawg, put that away.” Little things like that can give you an idea of someone’s character.

I’m not sure where this post is going or what it’s original purpose was, but it’s good to practice gratitude. It takes effort to count your blessings and appreciate them. Though, at the moment, it feels effortless to be grateful for my friend, Danny Duncan.

Happy 100k subs man, love you.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

6:49pm

Los Angeles, CA

No One Cares if it’s Fake

Took me long enough to come to that realization. People stage videos on the internet and no one cares. People will never care. They have much more interesting things to worry about. I now accept this as a fact of my culture. Roman realized this early. Then Vitaly, Fousey, Ock, Saladhands, etc. They made the strategic switch from Documentary to Reality TV and people ate it up without a single synapse of suspicion.

To be clear, there’s two types of staging. Harmless and Harmful. Harmless is usually something like those Canadian Just For Laughs Gags where it’s an actual practical joke. Fousey’s Yoga Pants thing is a perfect example of a harmless staged prank. How do I know it’s fake? I don’t. You can just feel it if you’re not a moron. Strangers simply aren’t that animated. He’s been proven to hire actors off Craigslist anyway. But that’s besides the point! No one cares. At that point it’s Reality TV and people are happy to be distracted from their lives for a few minutes. Whether or not it’s real, no one fucking cares. On the other hand, Fousey’s Rape Prank, Homeless gives money, or cHaNge tHe WaY yoU tHInK lean more toward harmful staging which I’ll explain why gets on my nerves:

Harmful staging happens when a fuccboi starts out calling it a ‘Social Experiment’ (it’s sCieNcE!) then pretending to be a blind person asking change for a dollar  and having the “strangers” (blurred faces of course) rip him off. OMG! What kind of Fucked up Society do we LIVE in?! clearly deceiving the viewers. You’d think these outraged, naive posts from my own friends & family on Facebook, sharing the video along with it, would settle down after a couple years because maybe people would catch on, but no, they’re still popping up, lately from Saladhands or Zac Efron.

I hate this because I know they’re fake and my friends & family think they’re real. They truly believe they’re real and it completely baffles me. They don’t understand the industry. They don’t understand they’re perpetuating a negative stereotype when they share a fake social experiment that did not actually fucking happen. They don’t understand the creator/prankster crafted it purposely to disgust them, or sometimes to melt their heart, and to then to share it, making them thousands of dollars. They just don’t understand. And that pisses me off.

I’ve already explained all this in this video here. *Fun fact, the first 6 hours after I uploaded this, it got picked up on Reddit and made it to the front page. My friend from high school even texted me to let me know. I was thrilled. About an hour later it was taken down by a network which I can’t name in fear of them fucking me over because they have and will use if they just feel like it, that power. Anyway, the link on Reddit was now worthless. I immediately called the network and figured out who filed the copyright claim (I was clearly in fair use). It was either go back and forth over Youtube’s rebuttal system for the next week OR tweet to the fuccboi and pay him to remove the claim as well as guarantee no one from the network could take it down. To my surprise he responded, I paid him $1500, and after 7 more hours it was put back up, but the trending rhythm had died. Who knows how many views it might have gotten. Of course, at the end of the day, no one cares.

Does this mean LAHWF is going to start staging videos? No. It means no one cares because no one cares. And no one cares at all because no one cares about that. It means I’m getting too old for this cliche, saturated genre on Youtube called Pranks.

You pretentious piece of shit, you think you’re above Pranks Andrew? 

Short answer: Not yet.

I need to get back to practicing piano.

 

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

1:53am

Los Angeles, CA

 

 

 

Hey Guys

What’s up? Andrew here.

Nothings really new with me. I’ve been practicing piano a lot more. Learning white stripes songs. Well, a song. My Doorbell. I’ve been trying to vlog and it always feels very unnatural and forced. Everyone’s trying to vlog now a days because it’s shown to be a lot more profitable. We (Luke and I) bought one of those fat G7x’s or a cousin of it last year around this time when we first came to LA and tried to carry it around but gave up after a week or two and luckily was able to return it to Best Buy. This post is more about just writing ANYthing down just to get in the flow and habit of writing again. I can already feel myself feeling better exerting my thoughts down on something outside my head. The main thing that made me stop blogging was the fact that it wasn’t profitable, so I figured what’s the point, I might as well be vlogging instead. But there are differences that I finally realized and made me want to start writing again.

Here’s a few benefits to blogging aka writing that are not available to vlogging:

  • More comfortable for introverts (me), hence more passion/quality.
  • Allows one time to gather thoughts, hence a richer vocabulary to express oneself in the clearest way.
  • Less people read than watch so it feels more intimate & exclusive.
  • You don’t need audio or headphones to read a blog post.
  • Less intrusive in my own, real life and the lives of my friends/family.

I dunno. I just like writing better. I think too much too.

Let’s see what else. Some projects I plan to execute over 2016 that have nothing to do with fucking with people:

  • Do I Have ADD? | Documentary
  • Do I Have Social Anxiety? | Documentary
  • 10 Getting With interview series
  • 2 rap songs

Haha. That’s about it.

Thanks For Reading, Thanks for Following,

Andrew Hales

3:53am

Los Angeles, CA