Sweating. So much sweating.
It’s been 2 days now off my 4-day marathon of continuous IPA and avoiding boredom. Avoiding accountability.
How did I get here? Everything hurts. My mind is foggy as all hell. I hate everyone and everything. I need to bite my tongue and save face as best I can. Avoid people.
Bonnie’s at Jaclyn’s. I was about to go to Boston but I cancelled at the at last second and ate my ticket. I couldn’t. I would’ve drank more and turned into a werewolf.
I cleaned my place. Sweating and with-drawling and hating myself. Shame and guilt flooding my thoughts. I should finally write that apology letter. Man I’m an asshole. Will I ever learn? Fuck is wrong with you? grow up.
My place is clean now. I still feel unstable. I’m gonna read now until I fall asleep. Keep chugging back to ‘normal’. Reboot. Repair. Round & round we go. It’ll be about a week or so before I feel good again. That’s what I get. Atoning for my sins. You must be fun at parties.
Thanks For Reading,