I’ve developed an unhealthy infatuation with two girls in my life. One is married now. The other is currently sending me mixed signals. It’s exciting and frustrating.
How do you tame infatuation? I say unhealthy because I’m past the point of no return where my sense of identity goes completely haywire when I’m around her. I’ve built this girl up so much in my head and there’s nothing I can do to reverse it. Attraction isn’t a choice. She has me.
Our interests & values clash but the probability we wouldn’t work out only makes the banter that much more exciting. We’re polar opposites mystified by each other. At least I am anyway.
There’s no telling if she’ll respond to a text or not. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn’t. That’s just the way it goes. Sometimes she’ll text me first. One particular text ‘session’ went like this:
Girl: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing. Reading. Why you wanna come over? (blushy emoticon)
Girl: Haha. Nope. You’re trouble.
Me: hahaha what do you mean? I thought you liked me..
Girl: Every time im around you I get the feeling that you want to make out with me… and the girl you were just talking to before me, and after me. (then a text right after that one): Too honest. Too honest. Shouldn’t have sent that one.
Me: lol well that’s true except for the second part about the other girls. But I mean I get that feeling from you too, we might have telekinesis.
She didn’t reply for 10 minutes. Then she said:
Girl: Ooo. 11:11 make a wish.
Me: Are you tired?
Girl: No. I’m rarely tired at night.
Me: Same. What a coincidence. If it was warmer I’d say lets go star gazing but it’s pretty cold.
Girl: We’ll have to meet up another day
I’ll invite her to hang out and she won’t respond. Then a couple days later she’ll invite me to a party at her house. I have yet to hang out in a non-public place with her. I guess she thinks I’m some sort of player, which isn’t completely false.
Making out, sure, but that package also usually includes cuddling, deep conversation, and an overall sugary burst of Oxytocin. I want to hear her less energetic, non-TV voice. I want to understand her. I want to meet her. I haven’t quite met her yet.
I don’t mind taking it slow though. Until she gives me a clear sign she’s not interested, all I can do is keep trying. I have no other choice.
Thanks For Reading,
Los Angeles, CA