Contentment

Sup. It’s been a while. Remember that first post talking about how I was kind of against vlogging? Ya fuck that. I like it now. I’m tellin’ stories. Stuff like my DUI, blowing money on strippers, my drug habits, my fapping habits, why I left mormonism, the one that got away. I’m surprised to say I’m quite proud of my vlogs. My wonderfully intimate, youtubey, hand-held vloggy vlogs. For the first time in my life I feel like I’ve truly come out of my shell. I’m just so… and this word’s kind of gay but, happy. Gross. Good ol’ boring, I’m-13-again, quirky & relatable happiness. It’s very strange. Almost like I’m meeting my(jolly)self for the first time. Social Anxiety, what’s that? I actually talk to cashiers and uber drivers now without a care in the world. Is this how normal people feel? I don’t overthink things into a mild panic attack. Especially irrelevant, philosophical things like determinism or death. So. This is what 2 months of Lexapro feels like. My burning curiosity for anti-depressants (happiness in a pill?) is now finally resolved. I’m probably speaking too soon. There’s other factors too. The simple commitment to daily vlogging has probably had a relieving, cathartic effect on me. Not probably, it has. I also just turned 26 in May, signifying the completion of my brain’s natural growth and thus possibly maturing my state of mind and/or spirit to simpler, wiser level. Emotional retirement? Ha. Either way, for now, I’m in a good place.

Remember one of the docs I wanted to put out this year about Adderall and whether I had ADD or not? I drank a bunch of coffee (as well as 10 mg of addy of course) and busted it out over the weekend.

After uploading the nearly 12 minute short film to lahwfextra, I wait about about 5 minutes and then click refresh. The initial response is perfect. 40 likes, 0 dislikes. Ok cool. I play tug of war with Bonnie (my new Boston Terrier puppy) for 10-15 minutes. I click refresh again. 435 likes, 0 dislikes. Wow. They love it. Money can’t buy this feeling. I check up on the Donut Digger Prank on the main channel. Ratings are solid on that one too. Wow, today’s a good day for LAHWF. When my sense of accomplishment & ego gets this stimulated & inflated all I know to do is go for a fast-paced walk around the city. I put in my ipod, smoke a celebratory bowl and just sink into my own world, enjoying the fresh fruit of my labor. Aaaahhhh a pleased audience. Everything is in it’s right place.

“Good times, bad times, you know I’ve had my share…” – Led Zeppelin

Probably the most beautiful and simple lyrics ever written on this necessary fact of life. When I get down, I think of these lyrics and just remember to keep things in perspective, go with the flow, and ride the roller coaster of life. Losing All Hope Was Freedom.

Thanks for reading,

Andrew Hales

5:36am

Los Angeles, CA

13 thoughts on “Contentment

  1. I like your writing but your documentary skills could use some work, your ADD video did feel really rushed and unfocused. But I think you have potential to do something great Andrew; don’t give up.

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  2. Your blog updates are very genuine, sincere and honest.. It’s really a good thing to look forward to.. It would be great if you could write here on a daily basis.. It won’t take much of your time because the ones who read your blogs will be happy with whatever you publish here as to write something up from the heart doesn’t need editing and stuffs.. I wish that you read this comment and think about it..

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  3. Sometimes the Youtube Trending section is depressing, seeing the most popular videos being cheap bullshit. That’s probably a reason you are against fake pranks, because in a way they bastardise something you do as an art-form. Anyway keep up the good work.

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  4. I came across your writing about a month ago and could not stop reading. I read them all thinking there was more and I finished reading the last one. I absolutely love your writing, you should write a book, at least write one for me. Honestly though, you should start writing again. I miss reading these and it’s only been a month.

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