Rational

Depression is just this phase everyone goes through in life, either short or long, severe or mild, and can be a result of many different things, circumstances, brain chemistry, nature, nurture, negative thoughts, diet, drug abuse, etc. and can usually be treated with clean living (exercise, diet, sleep) and cognitive behavioral therapy (fancy term for attitude adjustment) and/or medications, as well as a healthy balance of work (that you’re preferably proud of and at least don’t hate), family, and friends.

Wow I should write a textbook or something. That is if I did write regularly. What’s it been, oh wow March 9th, and damn I left on a shitty post. An Artsy fartsy poetic “And” post. Oh well. That was that, and this is this.

I’m in a good place right now. It’s safe to say I’ve successfully ventured past my life of pranks and matured into a cringe-free format of interviewing people (who’d have thought?) that I actually look forward to filming and editing, the way it should be. And lo and behold, I’m blessed as can be, people are liking them. I’m home free, for the next few years at least. There’s plenty of eclectic guests to let me into their world for a quick hour. It’s all coming together.

Also, I took a break from vlogging. I haven’t vlogged in a month or so, not consistently anyway, and I left it off with a perfect-Like-ratio’d “i’m in a mood” vlog of me just rambling in a canoe on Loon Lake, much like The One That Got Away. A final farewell ramble that included many important things I needed to get off my chest. A nice potential finish to lahwfextra and vlogs once and for all, leaving only the main channel  to focus on making “cake, cream of the crop, quality content” for.

I keep saying I’m writing a book and stuff but I’ve only written little bits and pieces of a chapter here and another chapter there. Little notes in my phone. I haven’t really muscled through anything yet. I’m so terrified of writing, I can’t do it if I know it sucks and every time I do it, it’s just there in front of me, sucking, and it’s painful, so I stop. I’ll avoid it and do something else. But then it nags at me and I know I want to do it but I can’t, it’s very subtle. I’ll watch a movie in my apartment and it’s just there in the back of my head, nagging me. Write, Andrew, write. Fucking just do it. Then I’ll make a little progress by turning off the TV and at least picking up a book, but I’m still avoiding it. Then I’ll get tired and take a nap. I’ll wake up and Bonnie’s due for her tri-daily walk around the block so I’ll do that. We get back and I figure I might as well work out, shower, and Then I’ll write. I’ll be more awake and energized then anyway, exercise is important too. I get back from working out and I of course need to shower and then make myself a high-protein meal to help grow the muscles I just tore up so I’ll do all that. After that’s all done I check my phone, I check instagram for any new DMs, any comments, should I post a picture? E-mail, Twitter, I check the views on my latest videos, oh that’s right i need to buy a lint roller and rechargeable batteries and more apple cider vinegar off amazon, where I’ll then spend an hour or so shopping into rabbit holes, oh cool binoculars? I could use those on my balcony, *click*. I’m a little tired now, maybe I’ll now start to write something. Then Chad texts me, “wanna see this movie at 9:20pm?” I say sure and phew… that was a close one, almost had to write today. By the time I get home I’ll be too tired and will need to sleep. It’s better to have a well-rested mind for writing than a tired one anyway, this is the rational choice. I then watch Netflix for the next couple hours and then fall asleep.

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

11:29 am

Los Angeles, CA

 

12 thoughts on “Rational”

  2. This is so beautiful and captures how it feels to be a writer in the 21st century!! Distractions everywhere. I believe in you mate!!!!

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  3. Hey man. You should start posting your blog pieces on Medium. You can make passive income through their partner program, just like you do through Youtube. I have no affiliation to Medium haha just thought I’d share. Good luck

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  5. Hey Andrew, I’m actually an on and off long term fan of yours and find you’re true sense of reality something worth observing. Cycling through life and the people you meet through an effort of non biased curiosity. I feel the maturity that you’ve acquired came through understanding at a younger age how serious life is and how much it sucks to take it “too” seriously. I don’t know man, you’re someone that helps me understand that struggle will always be in life no matter what position you’re in. A fun fact is I started watching you close to early 2013 and I at the time was a senior in high school preparing for my mission for the L.D.S. church and i remember watching a lot of your videos and thinking they were pretty funny, but had like a sinking feeling that you didn’t even know who you were in life yet haha, and that was my feeling too. I joined the church around 14 and found myself being juggled and tossed between others expectations and didn’t even know what I wanted in life. I felt i could only live life through others expectations. I served my mission in Melbourne Australia which was sick and I learned a lot about life and about myself and how I wasn’t as great as I wanted to think I was. I’ve only recently started watching you again and I’ve enjoyed the journey dude, I saw you’re mormonism video and thought you saw it in an even more mature perspective then those that judge you for leaving which I admired. Just want to let you know that you’re struggles help me understand that I cant ignore my and that everyday is a battle. I admire your curiosity in finding out the mysteries of the mind and the power of self mastery as difficult as it may seem. I learned that the more you analyze how to master your weakness, you become more aware of your imperfections and lose confidence and end up over analyzing yourself which can be depressing. Once I started focusing more on my strengths and more specifically admiring the strengths of others around me, my life has been a lot better. It can be as small as noticing someone put effort into dressing well and acknowledging that or even noticing someone has nice teeth and complimenting them on it. It helps you forget about what your sad about when you make others happy about insignificant things. You’re awesome dude, kill the game. I love you man and forgive my long self boasting post dude I was just tired and its 3 am here lol.

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  6. Always look forward to your Blogs. Dude, you have the potential to write a good book. I trust in you. Good to hear that you have moved on with your Depression. Can relate to almost everything you write in your Blogs. Have a great day mate.

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  8. I feel the same right now about a schoolproject what is starting next week. I have to do research for half a year but because I failed the first time I can’t get myself motivated to start over….The whole day/week I try to find distractions to fill up the day so I don’t have to start……

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  10. Make some fucking vlogs you little bitch. JK BEYOTCH BUT IT WOULD BE VERY NICE TO SEE HOW BONNIE IS DOING THANNK YOU.

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  12. To me, the reason you have trouble sitting down and writing is because you have nothing to write about. Dont force yourself man, just live life and write when you want to. When it comes naturally. You’re just a human being.

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