Freedom

a 6-pack of beer is the perfect amount. How’d they know? I guess that’s their job. I’m writing on this Grammarly software now and I’m already kind of pissed at it. They’ve already found “3 writing issues”. Good thing this was free. and now I’m done with it.

There we go, back on my liberating, all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world blog. Blog. Couldn’t they think of any other word to use for words on the internet?

Speaking of Millennialism, I did something drastic today. I called up Spectrum, my internet provider, and cancelled. They put up a good fight, offered a free TV box (for the first year!) or something. I held my ground. Starting in 5 days, the end of my billing cycle, I will have no internet. As well as Netflix, Hulu, Youtube, etc. I’m unplugging the Mcbangin’ 75 inch TV I bought a few months ago. Not selling it (c’man now), just letting it sit there holding the living room together.

I’m simply taking a break from having wifi; Vegging off wifi. When I need to upload something (for my job!) I’ll go to the coffee shop across the street. Done. The goal is to force myself to resort to books for entertainment when I’m bored. Reading is one of those things that doesn’t quite reward (entertain) you until you’ve sat down and got into it for at least 10-20 minutes. Like one of the 1800s western water pumps, you gotta put in a little effort, it’s not instant. But then you get sucked in and absorbed and it’s somehow better than a screen. Symbols on a page stimulating our mind with beautiful simplicity. Like Stand-up or the White stripes. Simplicity. Japan.

Of course, there’s a balance, and this is just an experiment. We’ll see how this goes, I can never tell. It’s always 50/50 for me when it comes to setting long-term goals. “4. Read More”

Hell, only pussies type things like that last paragraph. Will I ever learn to commit? Am I too hard on myself? Do I think too much?

Yes to all 3! Let’s learn to commit today.

A good friend told me the other day, “We’re never really free.” This was after I said, “What about free agency?” which was a response to her telling me to “take care of [my] health.” That was a good reminder. Self-discipline is freedom. You’ve heard that before somewhere. Most people have this line swimming around their subconscious.

Played some Death Cab in the background as I typed this. God damn they are kind of a bunch of whiny-bitch-as-pussies aren’t they. I guess everyone has their place though.

Finally got into Bukowski. His face and quotes scrambled across buzzfeed and instagram have always beckoned me to put him on the back burner. Started actually looking into his stuff (which now that I think about it, is really kind of a miracle, and completely random yet feels like destiny) after a long, fast night of solo-vodka shots with blue monster and it’s now 4am and I can’t sleep but I’m reading some of his stuff finally and it’s all finally hitting me. This is my guy. It was a book of poems that my friend let me borrow almost a year ago and I just so happen to pick it up and bring it to bed with me to help me fall asleep. Screens keep us up! Books help us sleep. I just kept reading and reading though. It soothed me. It inspired me. He inspired me. This was the kind of writing I enjoyed. First-person-bloggy-observational-Catcher-Rye-angsty-drunk type stuff. I felt like writing again.

So here I am. 🙂

Thanks For Reading,

Andrew Hales

6:51 am

Los Angeles, CA

14 thoughts on “Freedom”

  1. If you like Bukowski you gonna love Henry Miller. Well, you are an american, so you probably already know him. I’m reading Wisdom of the Heart, and he talks beautifully about art, life and death. It’s honest, it’s powerful, i’ts illuminating. Man, I’m so glad to have found this blog of yours. I’m actually trying to be a writer. I’m brazilian, so don’t judge my english so harshly. The thing is: writing creates so much intimacy… I don’t know. I’m not even drunk, but I feel like I am. This is what reading does to us. But I’m telling you, man, Henry Miller. You won’t regret. Love you, man (woops). Bye.

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  2. Another great quote from Bukowski:

    “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”

    —Charles Bukowski

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  3. Great writing! My favorite poem of Bukowski is this one:

    “there is a place in the heart that
    will never be filled

    a space

    and even during the
    best moments
    and
    the greatest times
    times

    we will know it

    we will know it
    more than
    ever

    there is a place in the heart that
    will never be filled
    and

    we will wait
    and
    wait

    in that space.”

    Keep on writing Andrew, you really have a talent for it!

    Kind regards,
    Jan (Belgium)

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  4. Nice brother! I did the exact same thing recently. My office is now the library and I’ve been reading a lot more books. It’s definitely life changing and you’re a champion for doing it. Respect.

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  5. Been following you for a long time bro. Your Blogs reflect pretty much all of our lives. That is why I check this Blogs once in a while. If it is possible then please do Vlogs for your channel because they are super peaceful to watch (you talking about random stuffs). Anyway, please be regular with your “Chatting With” Series. It will keep you financially stable and motivate you to do better things. You are only among the few youtubers that I genuinely care personally (maybe because of your Vlogs). Anyway, Best of Luck for the Future Andrew.

    Your Fan from,

    Dhaka, Bangladesh (do you know the country?).

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  10. I follow 40+ blogs and yet I’ve never seen someone write like this. It’s probably because this kind of stream of consciousness writing never appeals to a big audience. But it strikes a nerve, a human nerve, that I haven’t felt in a long time. Keep doing this.

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